Chia guts?

I would like to say people keep me from reaching my potential but that would be a cheesy cop out. Obviously I am my largest obstacle but I do know there are many people who have helped build the mountains around me. I am ridiculously fearful and I never realized that. I am afraid my thoughts, words, actions, reactions, writings, mistakes, hairdos, clothes, homemaking skills, choice of antidepressant, the way I order beer on draft and calling the cable company for help will cause someone to judge me. It isn't really the judging part I am afraid of because usually if given the opportunity I can defend my logic pretty well. To me it's very sound, or maybe the answer would be cause I said so... either way just give me the chance to explain. Honestly I think if I could download my thoughts into some motherboard psyche zip drive I think all would be cool. The problem really is the fact that people judge with a smile, they lie. They tell you it's great or they say the polite thing and then bash you behind your back. I don't have thick skin by any means but discussion is where it's at man, lets talk about it, really TALK about it. I don't want to be friends with fake people, I want genuine, as ugly as genuine can be, by virtue it's beautiful.
Anyway, this is why my writings sit in a stack all over my house and in my mini pocket recorder and why the loveliest, most amazing creations remain on my pillow during dreams and why my guitar sits dusty, sad that it's owner is a freakin coward.