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Drums, Pa, United States
My heart is on my sleeve and my soul is on paper. Please be kind to those around you, we are all glass.

The richness of sybolism

The richness of sybolism
Telling my story with no words

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Eternal Sunshine jr.: Little Scuttlebutts

Eternal Sunshine jr.: Little Scuttlebutts

Little Scuttlebutts

My sister in law stayed with Chris and I for a few days seemingly to care for him after knee surgery so I could go back to work. As it turned out she took care of me in a way I had no idea I needed.
Kimberly being at the house has allowed me to exhale, let go, checkout. I'm being mothered and finding how healing it is to let someone take care of me, to tuck me in with a kiss, to make meals for me and say it is ok to cry and lay in bed at 4pm. How surprisingly easy it is and how much I needed it, wow did I need it.

There is a situation in my life that's akin to being a rock climber who fell a great distance and got wedged in a small tight crack. At first being stuck suddenly is startling, then scary, then hurts like hell. Your struggle to get out only results in settling further into the crack. Unable to move either way the weight around you starts to feel secure and safe. You find comfort and solace in this close position that takes all the responsibility from you.
You know staying there will result in death but the contact, the tactile stimulation of the great surface area of nerves is reassuring and impossible not to want.
Without notice, when you are no longer fighting, almost learning to love the captivity, you feel the pain of being taken out by a force not your own. Now, the ache of what broke while you were stuck starts to produce agony once your free from it. How bittersweet.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Eternal Sunshine jr.: Book time punks!

Eternal Sunshine jr.: Book time punks!

Book time punks!

I am finally, thanks to Marie, my lovely soul mates, prayers and Brad, putting my book together. I don't have any idea what i am doing but i don't care. it will come to me, this is a part of me, its who i am. i feel like i have been a runner with my feet in those starting braces for years waiting for the gunshot to go off so i could start running. well, i had the gun in my own hand the whole time but I'm stubborn and thick headed i didnt realize it so its just my way.

i have 44 pages of material and it is mostly edited. however, i have about 200 other pieces that could go in but they are very rough and need sorting and editing so i will start on that next. this is by far the most work beside the actual writing over the last 4 years that i have done on this. i refuse to let my life keep flying by me.

all things that happen to me make me this person at this moment and i am nothing less than eternally grateful for the opportunity of experiences.