September love

I fear the way this will affect you.  Much more than my own consequences of shoving my feelings down into the overstuffed, invalid box.  You put a lot of mental and verbal energy into keeping me where you want me.  With your beauty you make it impossible to move.  You want a bleeding, loving heart right where you put her.. last.  She cannot move or the consequences which I now see as manipulation; pull this altruistic, fundamental love and resolve of not abandoning you back to my statue place.  I want and hope that two souls so enmeshed could navigate this painful but thruthful dialogue.  In reality I fear I won't be pretty enough for you to stay.  I'm in, are you?  Do you even have time to be in?  No, it's not all a facade.  The fundamentals are like the walls of Jericho.  Will you stay with me to discuss the fake, the hard to say?  Will you be willing as I am to lock ourselves in until we burn away the worthless and build a bond no man can ever touch?  The answer I so very sadly fear is no.  I will be reminded of my place my lack of significance that I am nothing to you as you are to me.  That is a monumental hurt I may never recover from... but we both bricked that wall.  Sadly this is a never ending dream that consumes me to which I will hear the simple and crushing ending blow to my beautiful decision.  "Baby you know I can't, I have no time.  I want to be there but...."