Had I Known

Had i known it would be the last time, I would have memorized every inch...paid more attention.
I would have run my hand over the soft red velvet on the creaky dining room chairs one more time and stood between the bear and deer as I did when I was held as an infant. The twist of the stairs, how I had to duck to make it down, sitting at the bottom with plates of pie talking with the other kids was priceless.

I will never forget you, even though you may me. The days with you burned into my soul forever. Ice cream in the freezer, tomato sandwiches and pastel plastic cups above the sink. Dinners around the table surrounded by loud and lovely family and the best coleslaw you ever tasted. You sat last and were the first to tell us we never ate enough.

Even the bathroom; the fish wallpaper, your knee highs drying on the bar, the sink that usually had no water, wondering what gave witch hazel it's name and finding out the hard way that Fixodent was NOT bubble gum in a tube makes me long for those days. The chenille blanket in the spare room and the picture of all your kids everywhere, family was your heart and soul.

Thank you for being the patient angel in grandma clothing that taught me to love unconditionally and for tickling my back while we watched TV just because you knew I loved that. Had I known it would be the last time I would have smelled more, looked harder and memorized like nothing else.